So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
