If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
