At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
