Already got asked if we're dating
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
