I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
