Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Let's paint friendship bongs
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
