Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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