PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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