feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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