I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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