Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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