i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
