I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
