Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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