he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
