R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
