And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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