he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
