Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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