Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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