ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we're so committed to being not committed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
