can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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