Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
