That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
