i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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