: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
from now on my penis is your penis
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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