YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
