Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
