I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
