So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
