Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
