it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
