Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize