omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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