Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
