its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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