U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
