i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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