Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize