Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
