I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
