Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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