When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
whose parrot is this?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize