I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My dick has a subreddit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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