You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
