margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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