Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i've created a new STD.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
