he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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