is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
