just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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