You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
