Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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