So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
