So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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