My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize