Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize