its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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