You just made me feel so damn special
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
