Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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