i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
