It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
