Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
