I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
