I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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